Tag Archives: personal improvment

Self care

Posted on by

Self care isn’t far off from self love. Both are Important and Both I struggle with. I know self care is important because If You give and give and never put back into yourself you end up empty and run down. But knowing about how important self care is and actually Doing it are so different. A week or so I talked about learning to love myself and I’m still trying to do a lot of the things I talked about but Honestly Its so Hard sometimes… Most of the time really. Its particularly hard to practice self care and self love when you don’t really know who you are.

I struggle with who I am often, I wish I was someone different almost every day and to be clear it has nothing to do with my family I would not change that for the world but I sit and I thing of the person I want to be and I get so down on myself because I’m not that person. I know there are people who are going say just be who you want be, but Its Like its impossible for me and a lot of times I truly hate who I am. I’m an awkward sort of person, I’m to loud, I’m weird. I’m not beautiful or skinny, I’m not wild and Adventurous, I’m not smart, or creative, ambitious, or driven, social, or fun. Who am I? I don’t really know.

When you feel like I do about myself You can practice all the self care and self love but Its Like Drawing a picture with a white crayon You know you did it but its not actually changing the big picture. At this point I almost feel as though I should seek some Counseling but At the same time I think this is something I have to work through on my own and it may be a difficult journey But I have to keep pushing.

Until next time,

The Curvy Dreamer

Reaching that first goal!

Posted on by

I don’t know If I have actually mentioned my numbers Before But My start weight was 334 pounds and I am ashamed and Embarrassed to admit that I let myself slip that far. I had been heavy all my life. But 334 was a new high for me. A lot of things happened that lead to me being unhealthy. At one point I lost a significant amount of weight and then Ended up pregnant… I lost even more weight during pregnancy. Then Came Breast feeding…

I just want to say that Breast feeding is wonderful and amazing. I don’t want what I’m about to say stop anyone from doing it… Anyways… When I was Breast feeding I wasn’t producing enough milk and I was being told I wasn’t eating enough and more specifically that I needed to eat more carbs. I was desperate to feed my baby my own Breast milk till she was a year so I was eating Massive amounts of oatmeal 3 times a day along with other meals and wasn’t still being told it wasn’t enough. I wont get into specific details but Eating more and not producing enough milk was leading to stress and all three were leading to weight gain. In the year of best feeding I put on 50 Pounds. But the Important part was my daughter was healthy.

So I stepped on the scale today before jumping in the shower and It smiled back at me… 299.4 I cried instantly I was so proud of myself. I hit goal #1 Then I started to notice all the little things… How different It felt when My husband husband wrapped his arms around me. How Far I could wrap the towel around my body now. How Different it felt when I bent over to pick something up off the floor. How My stomach Looks when I’m sitting her Typing on my computer. Its the littlest things that are making Me feel so Much more confident.

I have so far to go yet. My next goal is 275 and I know Its just a mater of time before I get there and Im so excited! I hope to share my journey with all of you!

Until next time,

The Curvy Dreamer

Finding Confidence and self Love!

Posted on by

So Yesterday I cut my hair. Your probably thinking ok big deal…. BUT I have not had a hair cut since I was about 14 years old. Sure I have had a trim every so often, the last one being nearly 3 years ago and the one before about 5 years ago. Its safe to say Hair Salons and I just don’t mix. Well I had been feeling so Down on myself and I couldn’t shake it. It was to the extent That I hated who I was and There was nothing about myself that I liked when at one point my hair was the only thing I did like about myself. So I got it cut. I had around 12-15 inches taken off and Its is now to the middle of my back. I also had it styled in the front and I am Obsesed with my new look. I wish I had some photos to share but I don’t. I know Its just hair and I know it wont turn my mental health around but Its A step.

Im also taking other small steps to get on the right track to mental health a few examples….

I’m drinking my coffee outside every morning that I have the chance to. This is a very small step but I think it could be good for me because I often forget to get outside and get some fresh air. I also got a new coffee Cup that Says Love Yo Self and its perfect. I’m also going to be spending more time outside because My garden is going in and I’m so excited!

I’m taking a well deserved shower every night. As much as I hate to admit it being a mom I don’t get a chance to take care of myself every day Like I should and Like I use to. When you have littles doing things like taking a shower is a Luxury that simply doesn’t automatically happen every day. It literally takes planning. I have decided that my little will ether be going to bed early or my husband will be on little one duty every night an hour before usual bed time so I can Have that much needed me time. As bad as I feel for doing so I need to put myself first for once so I feel Like I am an Actual person again.

Lastly I’m trying to exercise and this is a big one because Exercise makes you feel good and it will go hand in hand with My Keto,

If you have any advise for me please leave me a comment I cant tell u how much it would mean to me.

Until next time,

The Curvy Dreamer

Let me fill you in

Posted on by

Even tho I have been gone for some time and my mental health has been a little rocky I still refuse to give up on this weight loss journey. I don’t remember where we left off so Ill give you a run down of the last few months.

November/December: I injured my knee and then it was to cold to workout in my garage so i sold my equipment

January/February: My best friend and I joined a gym and were going several times a week. but after awhile schedule conflicts happened and we stopped going.

March/April: Near the end of march I wend to see my Dr and she suggested Keto. I have done keto before and it worked for me so i decided to give it a go once more. I started keto April 5th (day after Easter) I knew a bit about keto but I still dove in and started learning more about it. I learned lots of things and I’m still learning every day. I lost nearly 30 pounds my first month of keto.

So that brings Us to May. I’m still doing keto and I love my sugar and carb free life style. a lot of people tell me that it is a dramatic change and that they are not sure how I do it. but it almost comes natural to me. I never liked carbs that much anyway. Giving up sugar was a little bit of a challenge for me but I had such an Unhealthy relationship with food, mainly junk food and sugar that the change was incredibly positive for me. I don’t crave the things I use to and my old habit of binge eating is basically non existent now. Even though I lost nearly 30 pounds in the fist month keto is far from a quick fix. It takes a lot of Dedication and time.

There are lots of change that I still need to may in my life for my health and wellness. I’m constantly trying to get enough water and I want to add in some Exercise because there is always room for improvement.

Until next time,

The curvy Dreamer.