Tag Archives: Parenthood

Reaching that first goal!

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I don’t know If I have actually mentioned my numbers Before But My start weight was 334 pounds and I am ashamed and Embarrassed to admit that I let myself slip that far. I had been heavy all my life. But 334 was a new high for me. A lot of things happened that lead to me being unhealthy. At one point I lost a significant amount of weight and then Ended up pregnant… I lost even more weight during pregnancy. Then Came Breast feeding…

I just want to say that Breast feeding is wonderful and amazing. I don’t want what I’m about to say stop anyone from doing it… Anyways… When I was Breast feeding I wasn’t producing enough milk and I was being told I wasn’t eating enough and more specifically that I needed to eat more carbs. I was desperate to feed my baby my own Breast milk till she was a year so I was eating Massive amounts of oatmeal 3 times a day along with other meals and wasn’t still being told it wasn’t enough. I wont get into specific details but Eating more and not producing enough milk was leading to stress and all three were leading to weight gain. In the year of best feeding I put on 50 Pounds. But the Important part was my daughter was healthy.

So I stepped on the scale today before jumping in the shower and It smiled back at me… 299.4 I cried instantly I was so proud of myself. I hit goal #1 Then I started to notice all the little things… How different It felt when My husband husband wrapped his arms around me. How Far I could wrap the towel around my body now. How Different it felt when I bent over to pick something up off the floor. How My stomach Looks when I’m sitting her Typing on my computer. Its the littlest things that are making Me feel so Much more confident.

I have so far to go yet. My next goal is 275 and I know Its just a mater of time before I get there and Im so excited! I hope to share my journey with all of you!

Until next time,

The Curvy Dreamer

Finding Confidence and self Love!

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So Yesterday I cut my hair. Your probably thinking ok big deal…. BUT I have not had a hair cut since I was about 14 years old. Sure I have had a trim every so often, the last one being nearly 3 years ago and the one before about 5 years ago. Its safe to say Hair Salons and I just don’t mix. Well I had been feeling so Down on myself and I couldn’t shake it. It was to the extent That I hated who I was and There was nothing about myself that I liked when at one point my hair was the only thing I did like about myself. So I got it cut. I had around 12-15 inches taken off and Its is now to the middle of my back. I also had it styled in the front and I am Obsesed with my new look. I wish I had some photos to share but I don’t. I know Its just hair and I know it wont turn my mental health around but Its A step.

Im also taking other small steps to get on the right track to mental health a few examples….

I’m drinking my coffee outside every morning that I have the chance to. This is a very small step but I think it could be good for me because I often forget to get outside and get some fresh air. I also got a new coffee Cup that Says Love Yo Self and its perfect. I’m also going to be spending more time outside because My garden is going in and I’m so excited!

I’m taking a well deserved shower every night. As much as I hate to admit it being a mom I don’t get a chance to take care of myself every day Like I should and Like I use to. When you have littles doing things like taking a shower is a Luxury that simply doesn’t automatically happen every day. It literally takes planning. I have decided that my little will ether be going to bed early or my husband will be on little one duty every night an hour before usual bed time so I can Have that much needed me time. As bad as I feel for doing so I need to put myself first for once so I feel Like I am an Actual person again.

Lastly I’m trying to exercise and this is a big one because Exercise makes you feel good and it will go hand in hand with My Keto,

If you have any advise for me please leave me a comment I cant tell u how much it would mean to me.

Until next time,

The Curvy Dreamer

Happyness?

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Do you ever feel like you cant be happy? I feel like the worst possible person for having this thought. Its not like I am unhappy, I love my life but I also find happiness hard to grasp. Yes I know I’m not making since. let me try to explain. I’m a mom of a toddler. I love to be a mother. I love to be a wife. Here’s the the thing when I was 18 I got married and stayed married for 9 years. Big deal young people get married all the time right? I never had children with my first husband. The problem is my ex was very controlling and I basically missed out on 9 years of my youth and freedom. Les then a year after my First marriage I Was engaged to the love of my life and became a stay at home mother. To be perfectly clear I love to be a mom and I love my child more than anything. But I feel so trapped. My boyfriend is a social butterfly he has so many friends. I have 2. He is always invited to party’s and to do this and that and I’m the one home with our child. Now I realize this makes my Boyfriend sound like of of them guys who isn’t around and that’s not the case at all. He is a fantastic Father and an amazing man. He works hard every day and does everything for us. The thing is he was a single man for 30 years so he takes his chances to go out. Being a mom, a stay at home mom who doesn’t drive at that (nither of us drive tho) I just don’t get the chance.

I have been on this mission to find my happy but When I think about doing things to make me happy I realize that I cant do those things because I have a child to take care of… And Its not just that. Not having any friends takes its tole also. I went as far as to look up a 30 day mental health challenges. But when I saw things like spend time with friends I just felt lost already. It makes me feel like its more of a I don’t have friends thing than an I’m always tied down with my child thing. (again love being a mom) I have been learning to drive so hopefully that will help. If my anxiety doesn’t get in the way. I’m going to try my best to get my mental health on track and start with a 30 day mental health challenge.