Self care isn’t far off from self love. Both are Important and Both I struggle with. I know self care is important because If You give and give and never put back into yourself you end up empty and run down. But knowing about how important self care is and actually Doing it are so different. A week or so I talked about learning to love myself and I’m still trying to do a lot of the things I talked about but Honestly Its so Hard sometimes… Most of the time really. Its particularly hard to practice self care and self love when you don’t really know who you are.
I struggle with who I am often, I wish I was someone different almost every day and to be clear it has nothing to do with my family I would not change that for the world but I sit and I thing of the person I want to be and I get so down on myself because I’m not that person. I know there are people who are going say just be who you want be, but Its Like its impossible for me and a lot of times I truly hate who I am. I’m an awkward sort of person, I’m to loud, I’m weird. I’m not beautiful or skinny, I’m not wild and Adventurous, I’m not smart, or creative, ambitious, or driven, social, or fun. Who am I? I don’t really know.
When you feel like I do about myself You can practice all the self care and self love but Its Like Drawing a picture with a white crayon You know you did it but its not actually changing the big picture. At this point I almost feel as though I should seek some Counseling but At the same time I think this is something I have to work through on my own and it may be a difficult journey But I have to keep pushing.
There are lots of benefits of Intermittent fasting such as Weightless, normalizing Insulin sensitivity, decreasing inflammation, Improving brain function and slowing ageing just to name a few. Paring fasting with Diet and Exercise has don’t wonders for me. I typically Fallow the 16:8 Method that means every day I Fast for 16 hors and eat for 8.
A typical day for me looks something like this:
Wake up at 10 and exercise
Have my coffee be 12-1 (coffee brakes my fast)
Eat lunch around 3
Dinner between 7:30 – 8:30
Fast till I have my coffee the next day
For me fasting has helped with so much more. I have a binge eating disorder. Its a hard thing to admit because I am embarrassed by it. When I binge Its like I have no control over food. Like I am outside of myself watching all of these bad Decisions and I cant Stop myself. A lot of times I binge at night. But Since starting Fasting Its like I finally have a grasp on it. I have been fasting for almost a month and what I noticed is on the days where I don’t fast Its like the binge disorder try’s to rear its ugly head. sure its healthier foods now but its still there. But the fact that Fasting Has this Incredible power Over my Binge Disorder is amazing. I’m still learning a lot about a lot of things but Every day I’m healthier now than I was before.
So Its that time of year again! My favorite time of year! Not Christmas, Or my birthday, or even summer (well not entirely) Its Garden time! I have been Chomping at the bit waiting for It to be Garden season! If you have been with me some time you will have saw last years post about the garden. Then Year we will be doing things a little Different. We have all of out tomatoes and Peppers in 5 gallon buckets this year so they have there own environment to grow. we also Got our tomatoes more mature this year than we did last year.
I decided this year not to plant herbs, or at least not to plant as many as I did last year and utilize my smaller box for greens. We also wont be planting Directly into the ground in the back of our house like we did last year simply because the quality of the soil is not good and everything we had back there had died. we are expanding however. We will have 2 more garden boxes and a few more totes and and over a dozen 5 gallon buckets. we will be placing the buckets and totes on pallets to help keep everything organized and allow for proper drainage. the garden wont be fully ready for another week or 2 so but I have attached a few pictures for so you can see what we have this far. hopefully this coming weekend the weather allows me to do more than last and I can post a part 2 about my garden
Until Next time.
The Curvy Dreamer
Tomato plants all snug in there bucketsPeppers of all variety Kale in my smaller box
Me and fitness have a love hate relationship. I tend to Hate the Idea, Procrastinate as much as I can, and Absolutely dread it till I start. But then Once I start something and I’m a few days in I l start to love it, I get addicted and I don’t want to stop.
Video game exercises are my favorite. It started with my Wii. Wii fit was one of the best games in my opinion. I played it every day and I mastered many of the games. And best of all I was losing weight and being active.
A few weeks ago I discovered This game Called Ring Fit Adventure. I’m a little late to the party seeing as how it came out in 2019 but better late than never right. Ring Fit Adventure is an exercising action roleplaying game on the Nintendo Switch. It comes with A Ring-Con That holds a Joycon in a special slot, and a Leg Strap that holds a Joycon on your thigh.
After looking up a few videos I got on amazon and found the game for a decent price. a few days later it was at my door. I was excited to try it so this morning (Monday) I tried it for the first time! I powered up the game and got it all set up. I thought the game would be easy. I was wrong. I broke a sweat just doing the warm up. The game is set up in levels and you have to jog in place to move your player, You also use your arms for a variety of other things including Fighting monsters. I played a few levels and was having such a good time that I didn’t want to stop! I even played a few mini games and they were so fun!
I have decided to challenge myself to Do a few levels of Ring fit every morning for 30 days, Maybe Ill even push it to 60 if things go well! Ill obviously have some rest days as well. I’m really excited for this Adventure!
I don’t know If I have actually mentioned my numbers Before But My start weight was 334 pounds and I am ashamed and Embarrassed to admit that I let myself slip that far. I had been heavy all my life. But 334 was a new high for me. A lot of things happened that lead to me being unhealthy. At one point I lost a significant amount of weight and then Ended up pregnant… I lost even more weight during pregnancy. Then Came Breast feeding…
I just want to say that Breast feeding is wonderful and amazing. I don’t want what I’m about to say stop anyone from doing it… Anyways… When I was Breast feeding I wasn’t producing enough milk and I was being told I wasn’t eating enough and more specifically that I needed to eat more carbs. I was desperate to feed my baby my own Breast milk till she was a year so I was eating Massive amounts of oatmeal 3 times a day along with other meals and wasn’t still being told it wasn’t enough. I wont get into specific details but Eating more and not producing enough milk was leading to stress and all three were leading to weight gain. In the year of best feeding I put on 50 Pounds. But the Important part was my daughter was healthy.
So I stepped on the scale today before jumping in the shower and It smiled back at me… 299.4 I cried instantly I was so proud of myself. I hit goal #1 Then I started to notice all the little things… How different It felt when My husband husband wrapped his arms around me. How Far I could wrap the towel around my body now. How Different it felt when I bent over to pick something up off the floor. How My stomach Looks when I’m sitting her Typing on my computer. Its the littlest things that are making Me feel so Much more confident.
I have so far to go yet. My next goal is 275 and I know Its just a mater of time before I get there and Im so excited! I hope to share my journey with all of you!
So Yesterday I cut my hair. Your probably thinking ok big deal…. BUT I have not had a hair cut since I was about 14 years old. Sure I have had a trim every so often, the last one being nearly 3 years ago and the one before about 5 years ago. Its safe to say Hair Salons and I just don’t mix. Well I had been feeling so Down on myself and I couldn’t shake it. It was to the extent That I hated who I was and There was nothing about myself that I liked when at one point my hair was the only thing I did like about myself. So I got it cut. I had around 12-15 inches taken off and Its is now to the middle of my back. I also had it styled in the front and I am Obsesed with my new look. I wish I had some photos to share but I don’t. I know Its just hair and I know it wont turn my mental health around but Its A step.
Im also taking other small steps to get on the right track to mental health a few examples….
I’m drinking my coffee outside every morning that I have the chance to. This is a very small step but I think it could be good for me because I often forget to get outside and get some fresh air. I also got a new coffee Cup that Says Love Yo Self and its perfect. I’m also going to be spending more time outside because My garden is going in and I’m so excited!
I’m taking a well deserved shower every night. As much as I hate to admit it being a mom I don’t get a chance to take care of myself every day Like I should and Like I use to. When you have littles doing things like taking a shower is a Luxury that simply doesn’t automatically happen every day. It literally takes planning. I have decided that my little will ether be going to bed early or my husband will be on little one duty every night an hour before usual bed time so I can Have that much needed me time. As bad as I feel for doing so I need to put myself first for once so I feel Like I am an Actual person again.
Lastly I’m trying to exercise and this is a big one because Exercise makes you feel good and it will go hand in hand with My Keto,
If you have any advise for me please leave me a comment I cant tell u how much it would mean to me.
I have mentioned Keto briefly in s few of my recent posts and I posted about it last year as well but its something I wanted to make a more in Depth post about. as a disclaimer I am not a Dr or a nutritionist or any of those things.
When I first learned of keto I lived in a hotel with my ex husband and I lived on Brussel sprouts and eggs for breakfast, an avocado and tuna for lunch and chicken and Asparagus for dinner with a few other things sprinkled in here and there. I didn’t even know I was doing keto at fist. At the time I had tried so much. I Studied so many different diets. I went Vegetarian. I watched All the health documentaries, I exercised, I took supplements. I did it all. But keto was what worked. Why did I stop? I have no Idea.
Over the last few years (its been 4) I have often thought about going keto again but I didn’t have that final push to actually do it. maybe It was because I wasn’t ready to give up all the things I knew that I would have to or maybe because I was worried I wouldn’t have the support that I needed. Then My Dr recommended keto. I had my push. I started brushing up on my keto Knowledge. I watched lots of Thomas DeLauer videos on YouTube. I cleaned out my kitchen of anything that would tempt me or derail my journey. then I went shopping, Several times at several stores. My Initial plan was to Get as much Keto Foods as I could To get myself set on the path to success. By my actual first day on keto (April 5th) I had all kinds of good solid keto foods.
If you dont know Keto rules are
1.) No bread, pasta, rice, sugar
2.) Avoid Bananas and other fruits (berries are ok in moderation)
3.) Less than 20-25 cards a day
4.) Eat lots of healthy fats
5.) Electrolytes are important!
6.) Lots of water!!
There are probably more but Those are the ones I could think of. Its also super Important to take Vitamins as with almost any diet. Other things that can make all the difference are MTC oil and collagen (pill or powder) Although Mtc can be Tricky (you could say lol) I am learning so much about keto every day. In the beginning I didn’t know half of what I know now and I’m sure that right now I don’t know half of what I will in a month or two.
When I first started I focused so much on what I couldn’t have that I didn’t realize all the things I could have but once I shifted my Focus to what I could have I actually started to enjoy Keto. It was always fun to go find new keto things in the different stores near me and now I could tell you keto substitutes or a keto way for a lot of things. Now I’m 7 weeks in and I love my new carb and sugar free life style.
In the beginning I sat down and asked myself what I wanted to come out of keto. My answers were
1.) Lose weight
2.) Manage my pcos
3.) Fix my binge eating
Keto has done all of these thing for me and more. One big one is that now my teeth are not as sensitive. I have paired keto with an fasting schedule and I hope to add in some exercise as well (I’m lazy lol forgive me) but for now I’m just focusing on fine tuning my keto. I plan to post keto things on my blog often and give regular updates so stay tuned for that. I will add in some keto information photos as well. Before I go I would like to remind everyone I am not a dr, nutritionist, so before making any Health Decisions please consult you regular Doctor.
Last month I decided that I wanted a subscription box that was Along the lines of fitness and health. I Knew of several and have had a few in the past, Back when I first wanted to start a YouTube 5 ish years ago. (Starting another YouTube is still something on my mind btw lol) I wanted to try one that I have yet to try so I looked into a few and decided to try Miss Musclebox. Miss muscle box is a monthly subscription box for women! How cool is that! Every month has a different Theme and comes with 7 or more Items such as Gym Clothing, Healthy snacks, Fitness Accessories and workouts that are actually designed by Trainers. If it already sound up your ally you can Get yours here!
I knew that if I have some sort of Goodies coming in the mail for my fitness journey that I would be so excited to try them that I would actually be more motivated to work out. Its a Win win for me! But enough of that lets open one of these baby’s up!
I Love how colorful the box is!
The First few things I received in my box are some Airlight training Socks designed to keep you cool and supported (who doesn’t love socks) and two head bands the thinner one is from mavi bandz (I like that its adjustable) and the thicker one is from Bandz wear. both are smooth and light weight.
Next we have 2 snacks and I am so excited about them! They are both from the brand snack house and both Keto and only 3 carbs each! I’m super excited to try them! (stay tuned for my keto post!)
Lastly we have the star of the show are two large Items Fist is the Movement band This band can be worn around the waist or over the shoulder while you workout . You can store your keys, phone, or ear bugs in the two Expandable Pockets. This is going to be a lifesaver for hikes! Then we have Dynamix V2 Booty shorts. These are lightweight, supportive, and allow for dynamic movement and come in a wide range of colors. These are going to also be nice for hikes and lots of other workouts!
Over all I was really Happy with this box. It is my second month and I will be keeping it for at least a few months so I can really see what they have to offer. If you would like to get this box please click here I will receive 5 dollars off my next box for anyone who joins and that would be helpful. If you would like to see what I got in my April box Please let me know. I have a lot of content Im trying to finish so I can really kick start this blog again so stay tooned!
I have been trying to think of ways to get myself into the swing of working out again. I have a trampoline and I like to jump on it but being blessed in the chest I have to wear my special Shefit bra and that can be a hassle. I was sitting thinking about my favorite you tuber Beatrice Caruso and all the challenges she does. I have done challenges before but haven’t for some time now. I also just received a Booty band in my April Miss Muscle Box so I decided that a booty challenge would be the best way to start. The problem was that when you search for these challenges on google they are far from beginner. So I made my own.
The tricky thing here is I hate squats. come to think of it I hate Lunges also. But I guess that’s why they call it a challenge. I Really want to accomplish this one because of my Extreme Dislike for squats.
My hopes for this challenge is
1.) Obviously to have a better butt
2.) To get myself into the swing of working out
3.) Gain some confidence when it comes to exercise that isn’t cardio
4.) have enough Discipline to do every workout!
My only concern is that I don’t know proper form when doing a squat but I’m sure we will work through that. I also Worry about the number of Reps on some of the days that’s another hurdle we will have to jump when we come to it. Along with this challenge I am also Doing a gallon a day water challenge mostly because I can sometimes go all day without drinking anything and as someone who only drinks water and tea I need to make sure I’m not dehydrating myself. I Also Would like to challenge myself to get outside more. I really don’t get out enough and I think getting out would be good for my mental health. I know I will be out more when it comes time for the garden to go in in a few weeks but right now I would rather stay in the house and I really don know why because I am happier when I am outside. Ill be sure to take lots of notes on how that challenges are going and post on them each week!
I just found out that I can create polls on here! How cool in that! I’m not exactly sure anyone is even Reading my blog but I thought it would be fun to add in a poll.
The Curvy Dreamer 